hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
