How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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