I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
