I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
