He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
