Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize