Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
