I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think your dad took our porno
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
