he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I don't deserve a penis
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
