it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
worst night to have a conscience
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
