I never want to see another naked old woman again.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
