I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize