He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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