Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
