totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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