He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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