This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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