I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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