This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
