Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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