Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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