It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
