I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
