I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize