well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize