He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
