I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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