So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
