so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
