Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm always down for nudity.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
