Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
