apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize