We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
it's great music for shaving your balls
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
