You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
