2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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