Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
