You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
