Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
