btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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