I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
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