i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
