Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
