I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
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