mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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