Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
whose parrot is this?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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