she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
