Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
