38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
