You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I love you.
Bad choice
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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