Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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