K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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