Do you still have your period?
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
