Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Randomize
