They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
