im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
