whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
