not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
