Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize