Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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