Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
