I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
