doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
