I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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