She said her name was "party"
I wish I only lived at night.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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