Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
