Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
