I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
