Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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