i permit you to call me
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
COCAINE IS GR8
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
