Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
