Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I wish I could teleport
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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