I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize